Tuesday, November 18, 2014

this is my life

In some ways, being single has made my life much more interesting. When you're single, you don't really have anybody else to plan around. Thus, I've found it pretty challenging to form a routine. I've never be this "go with the flow" with my life before now.

And yes, you end up having lots of entertaining stories to share.

  • Kenneth, that first kiss
  • Kody Wisconsin
  • Getting abandoned at a bar
  • I want to date you, but also other people.
  • Getting drunk dialed by the same guy 2 weekends in a row
  • The guy who was afraid to kiss me
  • Breaking up with the wrong Steve
  • Getting nothing on my birthday
  • Data: a Love Story

Monday, November 17, 2014

12 years of boyhood

I think Katy was the first person to post something about Richard Linklater's latest movie, Boyhood. Shortly thereafter Jaime mentioned it to me. Then I got an email from my dad recommending my brothers and I go. So it had been on my radar for weeks, but going to the movies can seem like such a chore. But, once Sarah texted me, "go see it now." I made a decision to make it happen that week.

The movie follows the real life ageing of a boy. It starts when he is six, and films him at the same time every year until he is 18. Every year. You watch him grow up. That's the premise. He grows up in front of your eyes.

It's just such a cool movie.

And, like everything else I've seen from Linklater... it makes me contemplate my existence.

I still haven't seen Before Midnight, but Sunrise & Sunset are two of my favorites
One year seems like such an insignificant amount of time. But each year makes up everything.

I keep feeling like my time in Chicago is just filler. And then I think... filler for what?

Monday, November 10, 2014

ending the relationship

Disclaimer: this is a rant because some jerk guy didn't have the balls to break up with me in a decent manner.

Ways to end the relationship:

Text Message
Relationship Status: It's been 1-2 dates and you do not know this person well.
Method of communication: text message
Appropriate messages:
  • Hey, thanks for last night, but I don't see this going anywhere. Take care.
  • It was nice meeting you but I don't see this going anywhere. Take care.
Should be less than 160 characters, as you do not want this message to take more than one text bubble. I recommend deleting the person's phone number from your phone after sending this message. There is nothing more to it.

The Text v. Call Scenario
Relationship Status: You've seen them at least 4 times, probably kissed, may have seen where they live, and may have even spoken over the phone.
Method of communication: Phone. but, the jury's still out
Appropriate message:
  • Hi, XX, how are you doing? (perhaps make small talk for a few moments, until it's clearly the time for you to state the reason for your call.) Well. I have enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see this going anywhere. I don't think we are on the same page (or insert whatever succinct applicable reason) and thus, I don't see this going anywhere. Just wanted to let you know. Ok? Ok. Thanks. Bye.
In this situation the other person may be surprised, which is too bad, but the point of you ending the relationship is because it's what you want and really, nobody wants to waste their time. It sucks that you're hurting somebody's feelings but better now than later. Suck it up, just do it, you'll feel better afterwards.

Relationship Status: It's been a few weeks/months of hanging out with this person. You've had several meals together and done some fun things. You can describe their job, they've seen where you sleep, and you've probably met their friends or even their family.
Method of communication: in-person, verbally. Not by sticky note.
Appropriate messages:
  • Follow your heart but be civil and swift.
  • Have a getaway plan already solidified. Note: If you're the one breaking up with the other person, I don't recommend inviting them over to your house for this conversation. Because then, not only do you want them out of your life, but you also have to find a way to get them out of your house. In this case, it's better to go to their house, or to meet in some neutral location.
Doing Nothing
Relationship Status: Most likely this is in one of those "less than a month" situations but I've come to learn that people suck and will likely perform this method in all sorts of scenarios.
Method of communication: non-existent
Appropriate messages;

  • They say nothing. You never hear from them. For all you know, they died.
  • This is probably the most often performed and the MOST ANNOYING EVER.
But here's what I know... people suck. And you didn't deserve to be with that person anyways because if they were afraid to break up with you, then they are probably afraid of a lot of other things, and you deserve to be with somebody brave and kind and decent and not that guy.